A depression from deep down in my gut consumes me. Mood swings, bitterness, doubt and lack of desire take its toll on me. I had been sober for two days straight - not by choice. At 5am, I finally take my medicine. Legs shaking, fresh and anticipating. Mind craving and drooling as I slip my shoes on. The beeping sound of my watch triggers what is to come.
Headlamp on, music in my ears - I take that first step into darkness and with each step I feel my heart pumping blood and the beautiful endorphins flooding my brain. The faster I go, the faster my mind transforms. The more it hurts, the more I feel again. I am an addict.
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